the young shall rule the world!

that should actually read as 'the younger sibling shall rule the world'!

its twice in the last couple of days that i have been part of a discussion involving the younger sibling in families with two kids. (i am sure this is equally for people with more than two kids :P )

ok, here's the theory.

the younger of two siblings is always tougher, more independent, more assertive and more aggressive than the older one. they seem to have a mind of their own and typically will not get bullied by the elder sibling. on the contrary, it is more likely that they are the ones terrorising the older one!

do you also agree with this theory? if you are a parent of two kids do you believe this is true in the case of your kids? even if you are not a parent or a parent with only one child, have you seen evidence around you which proves this theory?

i was trying to understand why this is the case? and here's what i could come up with -

1. the parents of the second kid are usually are usually self-proclaimed veterans at child rearing and are far more sacked-out! (have you seen at any gathering, when kids play and end up fighting or bawling, the single-kid parents are usually on their feet trying to resolve the problem. while the two-kids parent continue munching on their bhajias or sipping their drink... confident that whatever the problem, the kids will sort it out among themselves!)

2. the older sibling is told by the parents that they have to protect the younger sibling. what the parents don't realise is that they take this very seriously but it is the elder ones who typically need protection from the younger!

3. the younger ones learn all about life (which basically means getting their way around and knowing the weak spots of the parents, siblings and friends) pretty quick and usually from the elder siblings.

like i said... the young shall rule the world. how do i know, you ask? well i should.. i was the eldest among three kids!

today i meet my destiny

i woke up this morning
and i knew
that today is the day
i'll meet my destiny.

how do i know, you ask?

i just know, and i know

you will know too

when your time has come!

i'm going to light up

1008 lights to light your path

and welcome you back home,

where i'll make an offering of gratitude.

we were destined to meet

for thus would i be fulfilled.

this was destined to be

for you are my destiny!

i wonder

right in the midst

of plunging through

this hectic roller-coaster ride

i wonder.

what if we had both met

in some earlier time,

another life,

a different world?

would we still be friends

or sworn enemies,

or lovers maybe?

or would we just be strangers?

and pass each other

on a lonely street

without noticing each other?

or would we still connect

inspite of ourselves

and inexplicably

like we do today?

playing games

waiting is a game

played alone.

waiting is not what i am built for,

redemption is all i seek.

but i need it here and now

and i have no patience

for the promises of eternity

in the after-life!

of girlfriends & lovers - II

big boss's colleague narrated this anecdote to her (which she in turn related to me, and i am now relating to you!)

his son, who's in the sixth grade, was waiting for him to come back from office because he wanted to tell him something. and this was apparently one of the first times he wanted to share it with his father and not his mother!

he then explained that one of the boys in his class had proposed to a girl in the same class that day. and he went on to add that this boy (let's call him P for proposer, for clarity) was part of his (and we'll call him S, as in colleague's son) group. all the groups members had helped him write out his 'love note'. so it was some kind of communal effort with the entire group trying to play cupid.

then came the issue of belling the cat, viz. reaching the note to the object of his desire (let's call her O). now P might have wanted his romantic correspondence to reach O but he was not so that he would want to hand it over himself.

so now for the messenger they requested a girl (and lets call her M) from the same group to do the needful. i guess they must have impressed upon her that it was her bounden duty as a group member to do such tasks for the sake of the emotional well-being of another groupie.

so M went and dutifully handed over the note to O. but the story doesn't end there! M then proceeded to go up to the class teacher and inform her about what had just transpired! :P

we can only imagine what P and O would have gone through! but the teacher apparently did not make too much of a fuss about this incident and only told the entire class that they have enough time for such pursuits later on in life. and that it would be far more sensible to use their time in studies and enjoying life!

-------------------------
talking of love notes in school, i remember the amazing innovations some of my class-mates used to adopt to declare their undying love to their lady-loves when we were in school. (obviously i never did no such thing, and i'm not saying that just because the big boss reads my blog!!!)

the most hilarious one was when a good friend thought he could make use of some basic principles of aero-dynamics to do the job. so he wrote his note and converted the note into a paper aeroplane and launched it towards the lady in question across the row of desks in the tuition class.

but aero-dynamics was not my class mate's strongest subject and he had forgotten to factor in the cross-wind and the impact of the bent ailerons on the flight pattern of his love-missile. suffice to say that the missile crash-landed on the maths tutor's shoulder instead of soft-landing onto the lady's heart!

and to rub salt into his wounds the tutor decided to read it out to the rest of the class!!!

touche!

'touche!', she said
with a smirk
and all i could manage
was a wry smile in response.

i don't even remember
when we started sparring
and why and who
had started it?


this is a game i'm
no good at playing,
but play i must.

i'm not playing to win,
for in losing you
there is no victory.
but if by winning
i win you forever,
then losing to you
is not an option!

its that time of year

its that time of year
when tender mangoes
hang in clumps
in the mango groves.

and the fragrance
of the blossoms
hangs heavy in the air.

the plaintive cries
of the koyal and the mynah
rent the air
as they are driven
by nature to seek their mates.

its that time of year
when all of nature
waits with bated breath
with me as i wait
for a sign from my beloved.

a sign that will
fulfill me
make me complete
and rejoice my second life.

therein lies
my liberation.

of girlfriends and lovers

our son is suddenly interested in girl-friends. he's all of 7.5!

it happened at the dining table and in the middle of his description of some arcane cricket fundas. he suddenly asks his mother, 'mom, who is a girlfriend? isn't it just a friend who's a girl? thats what i told k (another boy in the complex who's one year older) but he told me that a girlfriend is someone you love'! before the big boss could allow this to sink in and collect her wits to come up with some meaningful response, he had already moved on and was asking her if she knew who played 6 down after chaminda vaas the sri-lankan one day cricket team!

big boss and i looked at each other and raised eye-brows :)

he brought it up with her again soon after. and asked her the same question. he's also been getting curious lately about marriage!

this time the big boss was much better prepared and she patiently explained to him that he was right when he said that girlfriends are only friends who happen to be girls. but once people get to a marriageable age, then they might develop a special relationship with a girlfriend and then want to marry her. this explanation seems to have resolved whatever doubts he had internally because he is now back to his non-stop chatter about all things cricket!

i have this theory (actually everybody has the same theory, so its no big deal!) that girls grow much faster and are a lot smarter than guys at that (its a different matter that they remain smarter for the rest of their lives. but thats not the point i am making here, so don't bring it up and confuse the issue here). and i saw concrete evidence of this fact in the same week the above conversation took place.

i saw two young girls, who are my son's age, playing badminton while i was on my way to the garden in our complex. i saw them suddenly stop, point, whisper and giggle. i innocently asked them what they were up to. one of them, without missing a beat, said 'nothing uncle' (please ignore the 'uncle' reference here) and moved away. the second came up to me and said in a conspirational tone, 'we were looking at that boyfriend and girlfriend. we see all of them but watch from a distance.'

that's when it hit me that these girls were aeons ahead of my son (and i think this would true of most boys of his age) about their understanding of friends and lovers and the distinction.

anguish

have you experienced
anguish before?
i am sure you haven't.
not the kind of anguish
i'm talking about.

the kind which
rubs your nerve-ends raw,
gut-wrenching.
and every breath
a painful reminder.

while i wait
for a glimpse,
a whisper,
some clue.

anything that would help
me get through this day
and make it to the next.
with a dream to span
the night.

inspired living!

i am thick-skinned... nothing shakes me. (the boss prefers to be more direct and says i am incorrigible and hopeless! )

i used to be a skinny guy in school. and i used to be embarrassed with my own body. and i used to keep fantasising about putting on a few kilos. and i did :)

well, maybe more than a few kilos. but i'm still proud of myself. it took a lot of hard work... eating, sleeping, lazing around, and not exercising....

the big boss kept trying to pierce through the thick skin with well aimed barbs about the bad shape i was in! i even agreed to wal every morning if she gave me company since i am pathetic company to myself! and this just didn't work out, which suited me just fine :P

and then disaster struck! and how!!!

my daughter, all of 3.5 years, and my own flesh and blood made the unkindest cut! oh how can i ever live this down? let me explain and then you will surely sympathise with me!

my daughter is friends with another girl in our complex where she spends time almost every other day. (her parents are good friends). they were expecting their second baby and the expectant mother was visibly pregnant.

now my daughter's friend, with a lot of pride in her voice, announced that her mama's tummy is big because there's a baby in it. and my daughter (oh the shame of it!), not one to be left behind, promptly piped up and said that we too are having a baby because my papa's tummy is also big! and this is in the presence of my friends. well you can imagine the ir reaction to this announcement. and then this obviously reached the big boss' ears who lost no time in relaying the news to me.

and she expected me to see the humor in this situation!!!

well, that broke me and my resolve completely!

its been about two weeks now that i have started walking every morning with the same friend who gives me company. (so i don't even the excuse of not having company)