mission junk!!!

most young parents would have read 'what to expect when you are expecting' and some would have even read the ones that follow...

but none of these books tell you about some of the perils of parenting, especially fathering!

take monday as a case in point! i was getting back home by the local train (my preferred mode of commute in mumbai) after a late evening in office when i got an urgent call from the big boss... i was asked to pick up some stuff which could be used as examples of junk food...

now before you wonder why she was so keen on junk food articles let me clarify! we had to send some examples of junk food pasted on a cardboard sheet which our son had to take to school the next morning...

most of the kids' assignments are completed only a 'jit' basis which ensures that we optimise our effort and put in the least time and get the maximum output to input (time) ratio on the projects! :P
and this is nowhere as efficient as some of the other parents who manage to complete it on the day of the submission before packing off the kids and their bags and snack boxes to the school bus... we still have a long way to go! :P

so as part of my clandestine assignment, i had to get off the train a couple of stations before my destination, get into a mc'donald's outlet near the station, order a value meal for myself, eat the 'junk food' instead of dinner... now comes the nest part...

i had to carefully and surreptitiously squirrel away the plastic glass, the plastic and paper containers in which the fries and burgers are served and leave the outlet hoping that none of the other patrons noticed!!!

i managed to breathe easily only after i reached home... i then felt like i had thwarted some major evil operatives and pulled off some major clandestine operation successfully!

"mission junk" completed successfully... ready for the next adventure! :)

girls are smarter!

girls are so much smarter than guys... about certain things... (yeah ok, about the most important things in life... there, can i continue now?)

the big boss and i hired another movie tonight - duplicity (which i will write about later)

my son didn't even pause to look at the cover... i guess that's because it had nothing to do with cricket or football or guitar (his latest favourite musical instrument) or narnia or harry potter or any of those things which would hold his attention for a few seconds...

but our daughter doesn't miss a thing... especially when the picture on the cd cover looks something like this...

she promptly wants me to tell her what the couple is doing... (look closely at the picture of julia roberts and clive owen in the middle... missed it? she didn't!)

i knew that she knew, but that she wanted to hear it from me...

i tried talking about some other things... i don't remember but i must've tried talking about the weather... that didn't work... she listened to me patiently and then asked me again...

i then read out the synopsis of the movie on the back cover... she heard me intently and then asked me again... i realised that i am not getting away...

so i looked closely at the picture and told her that it looks like the man is trying to tell the lady some secret! she promptly curled her lips and said 'nah'... so i asked her if that was not it could she then tell me what they were doing? she said she wanted me to tell her...

i then told her that they were about to kiss... she then grinned and said yuck and went away... i thought i saw a smug look on her face as if she had scored a winning goal or something!!!

i tell you... girls are much smarter than guys about the most important things in life... and my daughter is just 5.5 years old! i'm sure the stories are only going to get more interesting with time! :P

children and monkeys and animal droppings!

kids can do the most embarrassing things at the most inconvenient times!

we recently had a good friend over for dinner. our daughter was going through a 'i don't like daddy' kind of phase... and took a great liking for the friend who had dropped in for dinner...

suddenly in the middle of our casual conversations she decided to declare that her mother was he mother and the visiting friend was her father! the three adults at the table decided to continue our conversation (i don't even remember what we were talking about!) as if nothing had happened... that only served to infuriate the little one, who was determined to get her message across... so she interrupted us again, made sure she had our collective attention and then proceeded to redefine her lineage!

as expected, there was some polite coughing and mumblings and 'ok beta' and laughter all around... and then everyone moved on... the little one smug in the knowledge that she had made her point... and the rest of us relieved that we were not subject to any more such revelations! :P

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we went to matheran this last week-end... one of our weekend get-aways with a group of 6 other families.

we had a whale of a time (i will put up the pics soon) and the kids had a 'blue whale of a time'!

some of the kids got it into their heads that i am the resident narrator of stories and all things amazing! :P
(i have a feeling most of the other dads spread such slander among their kids so that they could lounge around and eat/ drink/ sleep/ play tt without having their spouses throwing daggers at them (just by looks, mind you!) about taking care of their respective kids!

so i was the chosen one to impart them some invaluable knowledge which included naming various species of monkeys and apes and other simians; as well as the various types of dogs... since there were a large number of both species of animals in close vicinity!

later over one of our soul-enriching conversations that i normally have with the 'big boss' i told her about how we also learnt how to identify the animals by just examining the spoor (or potty as the kids preferred to call it)! :P

the big boss gave me 'the look' and said, 'i am sure it was your idea in the first place to educate them about such an esoteric subject as animal droppings!'

the big boss knows me so well! :P

we owe him big-time!

we owe our son big-time! at least the 'big boss' owes him big-time!

he averted a major disaster in our household! no, we are not talking about him intervening in one of our squabbles... this disaster registered far higher on the 'domestic richter' scale than even the biggest temper tantrum the 'big boss' and i would have thrown at each other!

our 24-hour maid literally gave us notice when she was away visiting her family over the weekend! she was told by her well-wishers and family that she would get paid much better than what we were paying her! she personally didn't want to leave but the pressure on her to give us notice and leave was too much, i guess... and so she gave notice!

the 'big boss' is not someone to brood over such calamities for too long... after having fretted and fumed for a couple of minutes she promptly swung into action and discussed her plan A with me... which was to hike her salary by a certain amount (which was still way off from what was being demanded)... and as plan B, she start contacting everyone in her cell-phone address book asking for help in finding a suitable replacement...

while all this was happening our kids got the gist of what was happening and kept trying to get more information out of their mother...

today the 'big boss' was supposed to have a 'woman-to-woman' chat with the maid after she got back from work in the evening. but our son reaches home from school in the afternoon.

after she got back home, the maid told 'big boss' about the conversation our son (who's all of 8) had with her...

he asked her why she was leaving and whether it was because of money... she said yes and that she was going to get paid more elsewhere... he asked her how much we paid her and how much
she was expecting... he then told her that once we combine our houses (we had recently bought the neighboring apartment which we are leasing out) in the near future he would pay her more than double the amount she was expecting!
the sincerity with which he said this made her laugh and melted her heart!

and then when 'big boss' came back from work he also put up a heart-felt appeal to her on behalf of the maid!

the 'big boss' and i later discussed this and we felt quite amazed and touched at the same time... at the maturity and sensitivity he displayed in this situation... and we didn't for a moment think that he was acting 'too big for his boots'!

and so peace prevails for yet another day at the guruprasad household! :)

am i sleep deprived?

i think i must be 'sleep-deprived'!

no i don't draw this conclusion based on my the intelligence levels of my conversations or the topics of my posts. but most people tell me that i must be sleep-deprived. but for most part of my life (which is quite a bit.... but i am not about to tell you) i have always been up so late that i'm convinced that i'm a direct descendant of an owl!

staying up until 1 or 2 am everyday was understandable during your college days which meant that you were carefree and footloose. either that or you were up pining for some girl in college and you were sitting up all night scheming on how you are going to pass on your 'love letter' to her the next day! you did this for a couple of weeks after which the letter seemed a bit lame and so you drafted another passionate one and then fretted all over again... you get the picture?

but i still stay up till 12.30-1 am, on an average. and no i am not writing 'love letters' and scheming! i am usually writing such posts or watching some movie or reading a book.

but what gets my 'big boss'' goat (actually many things get her goat, this being only one of them :P) is that when i have to read a bed-time story to my kids i doze off mid-way into the story! it is such a chronic problem that my kids protest violently when i suggest that i read them a bed-time story! they believe that their mom is the best story-reader in the world (apart from being the best mom/cook/masseur/doctor/hugger/kisser/...).

but she's not easily fooled. she's convinced that i've purposely and very carefully built this image that i suck as far as story-reading goes.

but that's not true at all.... in fact i think i have cracked the problem. the point is, the minute my head hits the pillow i feel drowsy! i think i should put this theory to test and try doing it differently.

will keep you all posted :)

the 'second' solution

this post is about the eternal debate that married people have about the pros and cons of having (or not having) a second kid. which basically means that you are forewarned not to attempt reading this during meal-times and definitely not if you are a queasy types when it comes to descriptions of bodily excretions of children!

let me share my personal experience. i remember when we had prasann, we never had any idea about a second kid. for us having prasann was a great fulfilment in itself. and we were both, as most single kid parents of the 21st century are wont to, kept on our toes trying to be ideal parents to our only child.

this meant a lot visits to the paediatrician, discussing diets, planning quality inputs, worrying about social interaction, the best play schools, et al. apart from his regular paediatrician visits, we used to regularly call a very senior paediatrician, dr. madhuriben sheth, (who is also a very dear family friend).

in fact whenever prasann was under the weather or passed stools which were not of the regular color or consistency we would promptly call madhuriben and ask her for her advise. most of the time her advise would mean just relaxing and waiting until the suspected affliction passed. and without fail she would also tell us that the solution to all the problems was to have a second child.

in fact we had thought that when we had a kid we would have effectively got rid of friends/family/acquaintance/strangers enquiring when we were planning a 'family'! we found out that having a child did not stop people asking us if and when we were planning an addition to the family!

eventually, we did have our second child - sunanda. and we realised soon enough, how true and sage madhuriben's advise was. and when we looked around we saw the stark difference between single-kid parents and the others with more than one kid. here's my laundry-list of the differences i could see (i'm sure you would agree/disagree depending on which side of the fence you are on) :

1. parents of multiple-kids seem to be more 'cool' about their kids.

2. they seem to be far more accepting of their kids' achievements or lack of them.

3. they seem to be far less aggressive about their kids vis-a-vis other parents, teachers, grand-parents, etc.

4. they seem to be of the view that the kids would largely take care of themselves and do not need to be guided and managed all the time.

5. they manage their careers/ hobbies/ other activities with far less guilt about leaving their kids at day-care centres or creches.

6. and they finally realise that their love for the kids doesn't get divided by the number of kids they have; instead it multiplies adequately to ensure that each kid feels loved and secure.

i do realise that this does seem to be a very biased view presented here. but this is how i honestly feel and what i have actually experienced. (and we haven't called madhuriben for a very long time!)

but i would love to hear views from the 'other' side too!

our new-age children!

bringing up children today in today's world is definitely not child's play. when i think back to my childhood days (which is too far back for comfort) it seems as if i had a fairly easy time growing up and had a ball while at it! (some people might remark here that it definitely shows in the way i've grown up... and not in a generous sense :-) ).

let me list out a few things that starkly bring out the differences between our own childhood and that of our kids today -

1. i learnt to swim in a 'nalah' or an irrigation canal, where a friend taught me how to breathe and stay afloat. we used to have a whale of a time during our vacations where a group of enthusiasts used to travel on our bicycles to this nalah next to the empress garden in pune. i was in the 7th or 8th standard/grade then.
my son started his swimming classes right from his play school days. he agonises over it, refuses to let go of his floats and kick-board, knows all about various strokes, and takes a shower before and after he's done with the swimming session.

2. i used to walk to school and back with a gang of neighbourhood friends. i would look forward to school each day just for this walk. each day used to be a new adventure. and then when i reached secondary school (6th standard/grade) we used to drive our bicycles to school. which gave us a whole new sense of freedom!
kids go to school by the school bus and i doubt if most would ever ride their own bicycles to school.

3. i never attended any hobby/activity classes till my 9th standard/grade. i used to be part of the school choir and was also on stage every year for plays, dances, choir-singing, etc. once we got back from school our time was occupied with completing our home-work and playing scores of games with all the neighbourhood friends.
kids today attend all kinds of classes almost every day of the week. these include music (instrumental & vocal), dancing, chess, karate, swimming, art, etc.

4. during our summer vacations we used to travel to someplace within india or to our own native place (where my parents were born). we used to travel second class, bear the brain-sapping summer heat, and reach our destinations grimy and smelly. but the journey would always be memorable and fun! (i never travelled in an aircraft till i was 23.) and all the local travelling at these places was usually by whatever public transportation was available.
kids nowadays usually vacation abroad. travelling by flight is fairly de rigeur, even within india. public transportation is largely avoided.

5. toys and books were rare luxuries which we got for some special occasion like birthdays or doing well in an exam. (similarly, eating out was a rare treat!) we climbed trees, made up our own games, caught fish in bottles in nearby streams, made mud-castles, got wet in the rains, ...
most kids today have more toys than they can remember. eating out with friends and family is a very frequent phenomenon! they play games on their x-box, don't play in the mud or get wet in the rains, have never climbed trees, easily get bored in spite of all the games/toys they have, ....


don't get me wrong. i am in no way advocating that we deprive our children of all the good things they are getting exposed to.

but i somehow can't help feeling i had loads more fun when i was my son's age. do you feel the same? any answers why? and i feel, we ourselves are to blame... do you agree?