Tuesday, January 16, 2007

remembering dates!

even though most of my most critical events/memories/priorities in life revolve around food, this posting is not about the edible kind of 'dates'! nor is it about the encounters/rendezvous with members of the opposite sex. (actually nowadays you never know; it could even be with members of the same sex!).

here i am referring to dates on the calendar which help us mark the passage of time and keep reminding us that time is 'a fleeting' (and that i am getting older)!

i am amazingly bad with dates. and i mean gloriously, amazingly bad! i have yet to come across someone who is as bad as i am!

my wife was convinced that i don't remember most dates because i didn't give these people/events enough importance. and before you get any ideas, its not because i have forgotten her birthday or our anniversary.

i think the problem runs much deeper than that. i think it is similar to the problem my wife has with directions (i will wax eloquent on this in another posting, but that's assuming i get dinner at home tonight ;-) ).

now coming back to my chronic problem, i am just not able to remember dates for specific events. people think i am a very insensitive person when i tell them that i don't remember the birth dates of my parents, my siblings, my closest friends, etc. given this state, they take pity on me (or are too disgusted with me) and don't expect me to remember sundry anniversaries. but i am sure they would look at me more kindly, when i inform them that there were at least 2 occasions, that i remember, when i forgot my own birthday!

this problem is accentuated by the fact that my wife can remember dates (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) for all her extended family members and her friends. and to top it all, she also remembers these dates for all my family members and some of my friends too!

after almost 10 years of marriage, my wife has slowly begun to believe that i am not faking this problem and has begun to accept this quirk as a in-built defect in me. we have now arrived at a kind of tenuous understanding. i depend on her for all these dates. she doesn't expect me to remember any. (i guess she feels glad that i at least remember our anniversary and birthdays of the immediate family members.)

life is much better now. i don't feel as guilty or horrid as before. i guess the trick is to not only accept these problems and surrender to someone you can trust, but also to convince people that you are not faking it or that you are not being just plain lazy!

but i sometimes wonder if there is anyone else out there who has a similar 'quirk'. do you? i don't mean 'do you wonder?', i mean 'do you have any similar quirk'?


Ravi said...

Hi CK,

U are not alone. I also forget and in my case even Wife's birthday. By middle of day my Daughter will scream saying I forget and I will tell her I have planned a surprise in the evening and thats why I did not wish wife in the morning.

Anyway I go one step further I forget names also. I can remember a face even after 30 yrs ( i could spot school friends) but names.. anyway long and short you have a grand master in front of you on this.

Krishna said...

I completely trust you with your admission of the lack of rememberance of dates. And i contest you in the competition for the worst memory in bdates.
I am one of the kind - now i realise you are too - who forget their own bdates. Most of my bdates i did not realise its my bdate till someone called me up and wished. And the best was sometime when I was 14 or so. I was out and it was at around 2.00 pm that i saw some banner with the date when i realised "that date looks a bit familiar" - you get used to the date when you are writing it all over application forms.
Well but the problem actually runs in my family, I could say. Currently i am in UK and this is the first time I am staying away from my family. I celebrated my bday last month and I had to remind my dad - since I had been reminded by my good friends - at around 5.00 pm India time that it was my bday and the baloons that he had observed on the webcam and commented "were they for christmas" were actually put up in my room by my friends for my bday.
But thankfully all my female friends know this problem of mine. So either they dont mind if i forget or some real smart ones remind me a day in advance "Tomorrow is my bday. U better wish me".

Thats a long commment. I better stop.
If you would like to read any of my blogs please do check my site

Guruprasad said...

hi krishna, i can only humbly bow down before someone like you. :-)
btw, i did read your blog and i quite liked it. do keep me posted.

hi ravi, i understand what you mean about 'faces'. and as for forgetting wife's birthdays, i'm sure you've heard the joke that best way to forget your wife's birthday is to forget it once! if you still forget it after that, then i guess you have a very forgiving wife!

Anonymous said...

Yes I do have forgetting tendencies, not like this but a slight different one,

its that I do remember dates, infact I recall them a month before or a weak before, but forget on that particular day.

Some thing or else occupies me, and I tend to forget on the particular date, My friends and family feels I am forgetting them.

Though My husband is nothing better then your memory, but atleast doesn’t forget my birthday or our anniversary :-)

I have forwarded your mail to make him feel good and to put him at ease that he is not alone there are other people as well :-)

Smita Patel

Anonymous said...

Hi Guru:

The "Date problems" can be of different kinds!
1. The monthly dates that most women are uncomfortable about
2. The star dates which we (in my kind of job) have to block for a certain event with great difficulty (unless coated with calorie - free sugar & butter and loads of green notes!)
3. The gal & guy dates: These are more of "if-i-like-your-thing-i'll-pick-you-up-more-often" kind phenomena these days
4. MEN - date problems! Well most men like you are very bad with remembering dates... But then there are others who pretend to be bad with remembering dates etc because it just as much more convenient and excuse for them not to spend especially on special occasions!

And well, about me... I am very good at remembering dates and phone numbers too (especially those whom I don't call from my handphone very often). I can just close my eyes and dial their numbers on any phone!!!
In fact, no one in my parents side remembers any dates... They completely rely on me for reminding them! Ha ha!

But it can be very stressful too... Because if I forget once, by chance or mistake... people tend to get disappointed! And even I end up feeling bad... But hey, I don't want to give an excuse anyway!