Friday, January 18, 2008

please appreciate him!

(i couldn't resist doing this post in response to "Please Appreciate Her". those of you who do not like politically incorrect writing, and using humor to deal with serious stuff, please do not read any further. and if you do then it is with the express understanding that you absolve me of any liability whatsoever and that you promise not to sue me ever, on any issue! (just in case you thought you could trip me up there! hah!))

tomorrow you may propose to a man who doesn't work,
but you should marry with these facts firmly grounded in your mind...

here is a guy who is as educated as you are,
but who is hoping that you will earn enough for both.

one who dreams, because he is sleeping most of the time.
because he is less of a human than you are!

one who has never entered the kitchen just like you (and any other member of your family)
as he was busy goofing off and was never around to get into the kitchen,
and was busy trying to beat the system while he would have actually liked to lie down on the sofa in front of the tv!

one who lived and constantly fought with
his parents and brothers and sisters for the past 30 years of his life
but still wouldn't leave and live separately
because everywhere else he would have had to pay for boarding and lodging.

one, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that,
his home, people who are glad to see him go,
to adopt to your home, your tyrannical ways, your constant badgering
your discipline and regimen.

one, who is expected to be man-of-the house from day 1,
while you cook and manage all the household chores,
oblivious to his predicament
as he come to terms with his new-found marital status!

one who is expected to wake up early, smile
share the bathroom, and say the right things every time
even if he is tired and partially drunk.
and yet never expected to shirk from his responsibilities
to be a supporting, caring, loving husband, father and hunter
all rolled into one,
even if he doesn't want to !
(he would rather watch the indians thulp the australians
at the waca)

and is learning the ropes, just like you,
to stop being clumsy and sloppy at all times
and knows that you won't like it
if he is not always appreciative
(but not of the good-looking neighbour)!

one who has his own set of friends, men and women,
but with whom he can't go out with for a late-night movie and drinking session anymore
because the lady of the house doesn't approve and won't appreciate it.
and would welcome you with a cold shoulder and
you would have to sleep in the living room couch for a few days
without the tv!!!

one who doesn't mind you smoking or drinking
but can't say so because you think/know
he is saying it just so that it gives him the excuse
to have that extra drink!

one who is doing his best to make this most important relationship work
cos else he will have to actually do some real work!

one who wants only one thing from you, as you are the only one
he knows in the entire house (or so he naively thinks)
your love and understanding (no regular headaches!)
your unstinted support (no haranguing him to get to work
while he is trying to work things out in his head)
your sensitivity (his male ego needs that regular boost)

but not a single woman understands this....

please appreciate him!


Eagle said...

LOL! good one!
Must read the blog that kick mean inspired.. you to write this one. :)

Manasi said...

i do... i do... for the zillionth time i do (with tears welling in my eyes and choking my throat)


that made for a mighty laugh, thanks guru :-)

Tys on Ice said...

u have been elevated in my opinion as a demi god !

u r soooo screwed if ur wife reads this, even if its the truth :)

Guruprasad said...

@ eagle : kick-started, inspired, prompted, etc... yes, you must read it!

@manasi : glad you liked it. and i am not publishing the hate mail that i will get :)

@ tys on ice : hey man, you have a spare bed in your garage for a demi-god who's been driven out his home?

Gazal said...

my sympathies with all (SUCH)men....LOL


Ziah said...

I am truly enlightened... being a househusband is jusssst as painful as being a housewife!!:) Moral of the story: get a job, keep a job, get a job, keep a job, get a job........ :)

Nags said...

stop scaring me :O :O

my blog is only visited by gentle nice people..

and your comment wasn;t bad enough for you to say "you asked for it!"


PS: did you know taking the word verification off from ur blog can get u 50% more comments?

Ok, I just made that up. But its annoying!

Thinking aloud said...

WOW!!! is that really what it is all about!! :D

it really is tough being a 'married' guy!!! :P

Swati said...

Hahahhah...nice sense of humor...I will appreciate him ..since you say :D

Thanks for linking up to my blog BTW.

Guruprasad said...

@ gazal : u bet its increasingly becoming a woman's world! and much better in the long run, i am sure.

@ ziah : i prefer the formula - help your spouse get a job, inspire spouse to keep at it, ad infinitum!

@ nags : i took off the word verification and now am waiting patiently staring at my monitor for fans to flood my blog :P

@ swati : you are welcome ma'am! :)