Monday, March 17, 2008

of girlfriends and lovers

our son is suddenly interested in girl-friends. he's all of 7.5!

it happened at the dining table and in the middle of his description of some arcane cricket fundas. he suddenly asks his mother, 'mom, who is a girlfriend? isn't it just a friend who's a girl? thats what i told k (another boy in the complex who's one year older) but he told me that a girlfriend is someone you love'! before the big boss could allow this to sink in and collect her wits to come up with some meaningful response, he had already moved on and was asking her if she knew who played 6 down after chaminda vaas the sri-lankan one day cricket team!

big boss and i looked at each other and raised eye-brows :)

he brought it up with her again soon after. and asked her the same question. he's also been getting curious lately about marriage!

this time the big boss was much better prepared and she patiently explained to him that he was right when he said that girlfriends are only friends who happen to be girls. but once people get to a marriageable age, then they might develop a special relationship with a girlfriend and then want to marry her. this explanation seems to have resolved whatever doubts he had internally because he is now back to his non-stop chatter about all things cricket!

i have this theory (actually everybody has the same theory, so its no big deal!) that girls grow much faster and are a lot smarter than guys at that (its a different matter that they remain smarter for the rest of their lives. but thats not the point i am making here, so don't bring it up and confuse the issue here). and i saw concrete evidence of this fact in the same week the above conversation took place.

i saw two young girls, who are my son's age, playing badminton while i was on my way to the garden in our complex. i saw them suddenly stop, point, whisper and giggle. i innocently asked them what they were up to. one of them, without missing a beat, said 'nothing uncle' (please ignore the 'uncle' reference here) and moved away. the second came up to me and said in a conspirational tone, 'we were looking at that boyfriend and girlfriend. we see all of them but watch from a distance.'

that's when it hit me that these girls were aeons ahead of my son (and i think this would true of most boys of his age) about their understanding of friends and lovers and the distinction.

9 comments:

Ziah said...

You boys are always slo pokes ya..:) Thats why we are the "big bosses"... tho some of you seldom acknowledge it..:)

On a more serious note, its very interesting to see how u guys tackle child/adolescent curiosity..:)

Ps said...

heh heh--very true. The kid next door keeps asking my daughter (Both are six) who her boy friend is.my daughter smartly replies that she might consider nicholas Cage (her older brother is crazy about his movies)except that he might be too old when she becomes 18!! :-)First time I heard it I couldnt stop laughing.

Tys on Ice said...

girls are definitly smarter thn boys at that age...( yeah probably even after that, but we men make better old dead men, somehow women make awful old dead men)...

Cuckoo said...

Hmmm... Well, maybe the girls are smarter in some ways but the same age boys are quite knowledgeable otherwise. ;)
If you know what I mean.

Prats said...

Welcome to the world of reality!!!
I just went through this conversation with my son and man!! what a revelation that was. Their understand has far surpassed ours. A lot needs to be understood before we give our answers...
Having 2 boys, I wouldn't know how the girls would be...but yes, they sure are so much more into this at that age than boys, who can think nothing beyond their gameboys and their sport..

Na.Su.Krishnan said...

Guru, I have an alternate theory. I feel that Boys are cunning enough to hide their internal vigilence and behave innocent.Thus making the parents feel that oh..God he is still a child.

Thinking aloud said...

ohh yes, i think girls are far more evoled into this than the boys...(practice makes us perfect...;)

my 10 yrold is still in 'the girls are sissies stage'...which actually i don't mind him continuing for some time...now teh 5 yr-old...sigh...boy does he worry me...!!!

Gazal said...

the next generation arrives!!!!
they are much more smarter than we think they are!!!

my son is 11 and hates girls..i hope it remains that way...his teachers in school tell me he's a heart throb!!!

god!!!save me!!!!

Guruprasad said...

@Ps : you've got one hell of a girl there :)
i'm sure you'll more than your neighbor's son lining up at your door sooner than you know it :)

@tys : you hit the nail on the head as always pal... none of the others just seem to see it :P

@cuckoo : nah... i still think even in those areas girls are much smarter than they let on :P

@prats : for boys its always toys... early in life and even much later :P
girls always know what are the smarter things to go for.

@krishnan : no... trust me. the guys at that age have no clue... the girls are already running circles around them... and later the guys are just running after them :P

@TA : i have this other theory that the younger ones are always a terror! i think i'll write another post about this :)

@gazal : exactly what we see our son doing... he acts so tired of the girls... big boss and i keep sighing and saying that later in life these same girls will not give him the time of day while he is trying his best to get their attention :)