did i miss something?

it sounds like the economic times is venturing into the business of foretelling the future. this article looks like a peep into the future. but the reader is clueless about who or what is launching the service that this article is talking about!

i am reproducing the entire article verbatim here. i would like you to read it and tell me if you got it? i didn't.


Browse, chat, confer — all on the same Web page!

AHMEDABAD: All your favourite Web sites will soon be available on a single platter. Personalised, only for you. So, whether it’s checking latest stock market tips online, discussing it with your analyst friend through a chat tool or taking global cues and holding live video conferences, everything will be available on a single Web page. And that too without any downloads but by simply registering on a Web site. What’s more, the new tool will also enable phone, mobile and web users collaborate on a single platform.

('quick bytes' section on page 5 of the economic times of 3rd decemeber 2007.)

good cop, bad cop!

(came across this post on india uncut which prompted me to write this post.)

i recently came across a news article about someone we know being stopped by cops when he was driving to lonavala. though the papers were in order and he had a valid license, the cops accused him of being a private taxi operator without a permit and wanted him to pay up. when he refused they then found that he hadn't renewed his puc license. when they realised that he was a tough customer and one his co-travellers was calling up various people they drove off with his license.

and then there was this time when i spent a few hours in a police station when a friend and i were rounded up by the cops. our crime was walking in a group on the road during holi. we had to pay a fine to be let off. later i heard that the cops have a target of people they have to round up on days like holi.

but i've also had my share of 'good cop' experiences. the most memorable one being an incident at the delhi airport.

i was carrying my hp laptop in a bag which looked like exactly like what at least a dozen other people were carrying. after the x-ray scan in security i noticed my bag was missing from the x-ray machine belt. and there was another unclaimed laptop bag of a different brand. i reported this to the cops on duty.

one of the cops then mentioned that he recollected a man in a light pink checked shirt picking up a laptop bag which he felt was not his. he then came along with me to help identify the person in the large busy concourse. and he managed to identify the passenger too, who happened to have picked up my laptop bag my mistake.

i was completely dumbfounded and thoroughly impressed.

bob's my uncle!

a friend recently shared this very interesting observation. and it hit me when i thought about it. and i'm sure it will hit you as well :-)

we were talking about the recent trend of many recently married couples who willingly choose not to have children or to have only a single child. earlier i had written a post about the benefits of having at least two kids - the second solution!

my friend then said that we will soon have a significant number of kids who will not have brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, no brothers-in-law or sisters-in-law, no co-brothers or co-sisters, and so on and so forth! and as this trend continues it will be even more stark.

most kids will only have theoretical knowledge about such relationships and will not be able to understand what these actually mean in real life. in fact, over time, they would start wondering whether such people and such relationships actually existed!

i guess it would be similar to our understanding of kings and queens and dinosaurs too!?

such kids would lose out on the joys of visiting relatives, vacationing with cousins, the scores of marriages in the family which are usually an excuse to fix some more marriages and also have a feast with good food and the company of near and distant family for a comfortably short period of time!

i wonder what fond memories the children in the future would have

mosquito magnet!

my wife and i never let go of an opportunity to pat ourselves on our back when we see one of our kids do something which we believe is a trait they have inherited from the 'self-back-patter'! nor do we miss an opportunity to rib the other party whenever there is some embarrassing or awkward trait noticed in our kids and are convinced that we ourselves had nothing to do with that particular trait. and we all know where that came from and all that!

well here's a bizarre one where both my wife and i have the same view, one of those extremely rare moments :-)

my daughter is a 'mosquito magnet', just like i am!

before she was born, if there was one solitary mosquito which was in the mood for some human blood sampling it would unfailingly find its way to some exposed part of my anatomy and proceed to go on a binge on my vital body fluid! the said mosquito would choose to ignore the presence of an entire brood of family members present in the vicinity at the same instant. i used to console myself by claiming that i was a 'pure blood' which even the discerning mosquitoes vetted! ('pure blood' of what species, don't ask me!)

and now i've noticed that our daughter is a better mosquito magnet than i can ever aspire to be. the solitary mosquito now makes a bee-line (shouldn't that be 'mosquito-line'?) for her. that explains the ever-present tube of mosquito repellent in our household.

till recently i thought there must have been something unique about me which makes us more attractive to the animal kingdom. (nonetheless, i would have preferred doves and cats and other representatives of the animal kingdom expressing their allegiance to a royal personage than just some measly mosquitoes!)

now medical science throws some light on this mystery. scientists believe that genetics account for about 85% of our susceptibility to mosquito bites. people with concentration of steroids or cholesterol on their skin surface; people who produce excess of certain acids like uric acid; these are the people mosquitoes like best :-)

researchers are still trying to pinpoint what compounds and odours people exude that might be attractive to mosquitoes.

so next time the mosquitoes prefer you over the others in your company - blame your genes!

p.s. here's an interesting fact - mosquitoes have been around for more than 170 million years. basically tells us that they are not going to disappear in a hurry :-)

frozen food!

i stumbled upon this news item on the bbc news site - Doomsday vault begins deep freeze.

engineers are building the svalbard international seed vault in a mountain on one of the islands of svalbard, norway, where they will store seeds from all known varieties of key food crops by freezing them at -18C. built to hold about 4.5 million seed samples the vault aims to safeguard the world's crops from future disasters such as nuclear wars, asteroids or dangerous climate change.

the concept is amazing and i could think of somre more such vaults for :
- books
- art
- films
- recipes
- animals/ birds/ insects

... a post-modern noah's ark of sorts!

but a few questions come to mind -
1. what if nobody survives doomsday to pull out the seeds from the vault?
2. will there be any arable land left for use?

drink & drive!

after a series of high-profile drunk driving cases, some of which resulted in deaths of pedestrians, the mumbai police had launched a campaign and passed an act to address this problem.

according to the official website of the mumbai traffic police more than 9000 cases of drunken driving have been registered since jan '07 and fines amounting to more than Rs.1.5 crore (15 million) have been collected.

and this had a huge impact on the sale of alcohol in mumbai. there were reports in the media about beer sales dropping by more than 3 lakh litres and imfl (indian made foreign liquor) dropping by one lakh litres in september '07 itself.

why am i talking about all this here?

last night on my way back home after a late dinner i noticed a man, who was obviously drunk, on a motorcycle with his wife and son weaving dangerously on the road. he stopped at a traffic signal and after a few lurches collapsed on the road. his wife and young son were also thrown off the bike. fortunately this happened when the bike was stationery and all three escaped unharmed. but i shudder to think what would have happened if he had fallen while they were speeding on the highway with vehicles zipping by at break-neck speeds.

what is tragic in most cases of drunken driving is that most of the victims are innocent pedestrians or co-passengers.

the dna campaign for responsible driving is very apt - 'die for your country, not by drinking & driving'.

and the manickchand ad campaign capitalised on this high awareness by launching their bottled water with their brilliant tag-line - 'drink and drive!'

oso vs. saawariya

this was surely one of the biggest wars in india in recent history! both oso (om shanti om) and saawariya released on the same day).

and the battle lines were clearly drawn weeks ago. and both camps pulled all stops. no trick in the book were spared. for the first time blogs were used to build up the tempo. and all radio and tv channels have been airing viewers' initial reactions for the last two days. (i heard that there was a special 7.30 am screening of saawariya at one of the multiplexes... another first!)

i happened to watch oso on friday itself, thanks to a treat from bil (bro-in-law). here are a few thoughts ...

- quite disappointing.. considering the hype. (if you look at it shorn of all the hype n hoopla, then its quite a fun, mindless kind of film).
- deepika adds a freshness to the film but has some way to go before she makes her mark.
- i think it will do better than saawariya (srk power and the 'timepass' quality will prevail!).


but for me the winner, without any doubt, was 'jab we met'! we happened to watch it earlier today. and it was miles ahead of oso in terms of screenplay, direction and production values. kareena literally carried the film on her shoulders. and even though both the story-lines were hardly original, 'jab we met' managed a much better job at the retelling.

(and the kids thought that 'tara rum pum' was much better than oso! well, there you have it!)

my hoarding is bigger than yours!

one of the most conspicious things that hits you in your face in most cities in india is the number of hoardings all around. you see hoarding of all shapes and sizes. (no, most of them are rectangular actually.) on bus-stop shelters, road-sides, across the roads, on buildings, on boats, on airplanes, on train coaches, on vehicles, on helium-filled balloons, and even mobile ones!

the number of hoardings have been reduced to a large extent in places like delhi, thanks to the state government strictures. but i guess in cities like mumbai, the income generated from these hoardings is too lucrative for the municipal corporation to ignore.

have you noticed how the hoardings change over a period of time depending on various factors like :


- the economy - remember when most of the hoardings in cities used to talk about equity ipos? and then there was a phase when many insurance companies and mutual funds shouted at the top of their voices from the hoardings. and now as the real estate boom simmers we see many hoardings for residential and commercial projects all across the country.

- trends - there was a time when all we saw around us were hoardings of mobile phones and mobile operators vending their fare. and now all we see are hoardings announcing various tv soaps, tv contests, sporting events (only cricket actually), and reality shows. and i can't for the life of me remember any of them except for the 'biggest loser wins' hoardings.


- hoarding war - when dna was launched in mumbai almost all hoardings were taken over by them. this was then soon followed by a series of campaigns through hoardings by the times group. it was war out there!

- launches - this could be anything ranging from films (its oso vs saawariya now), to shampoos, to tv channels, to music albums, to malls, to foods and more.

- regional bias - have you noticed the hoardings for dhotis (mundus) & set sarees in kerala? and the numerous gold shops/ souks. or the gigantic hoardings in chennai of actors which overshadow the film they are acting in?


you can feel the pulse of india through its hoardings! (personally i find them an eyesore... especially the temporary ones put up by political parties during festivals, anniversaries, birthdays.... any occassion is an excuse enough!)

we are smart and dumb

i came across this article (actually an interview) of 'why indians are privately smart and publicly dumb' based on a book by the same title authored by v. raghunathan. (thanks for the link leya.)

in this interview the author talks about why indians are reasonably smart in private but publicly are dumb. one of the traits he describes is our 'low trustworthiness'. according to him we indians tend to believe that if we do not co-operate then we benefit more.

our normal mode of thinking goes something like this -
'what if i co-operate and the other person doesn't? then i end up a loser.
but if the other person co-operates and i don't, then i win.
similarly if the other person doesn't co-operate and i too don't co-operate, then i am not worse off.'

and then based on this infallible logic, we choose not to co-operate.

this is reflected everywhere around us in all our actions - in the queues we disregard, the traffic signals we jump, the litter we throw on the streets (while our homes are spic and span).... i could go on and on :-)

according to the author, the line of thinking we should ideally be adopting should be something like this -
'what if i co-operate and the other person doesn't? then i end up a loser.
but if the other person co-operates and i don't, then i win.
similarly if the other person doesn't co-operate and i too don't co-operate, then i am not worse off.
but if the other person also is thinking like me then he too will choose not to co-operate (and given that the other person is also an indian you can be sure he will think along these lines!)
this means that both of us would be losers.
but if i co-operate and the other person also decides to co-operate then both of us win. and this is the best option for both of us.'

now this might sound like an idealistic situation. but if you think about it, this is the most practical option. but how do we get to this state of existence? how do we get people to understand that cooperation and not defection is the best option available to us at any point of time? this actually means taking a big leap of faith and drastically changing our outlook about people.

is that about to happen? not in a hurry, i think. but i agree with the author, v raghunathan, when he says that possibly with the improvement of the economy and increase in education people will replace defection with cooperation.

the language of thought

this post is about dreams & thoughts.

but don't worry, its not about your 'aspirations'. nor is it about the contents of your dreams which i propose to analyse. and i am definitely not going to share the details of my dreams and scandalise you in the bargain! :-)



have you noticed that, irrespective of what we dream about, we dream in a particular language? and we normally dream in the language we think in.

now you might say that dreams don't have any language. its only a series of images passing through our sub-conscious mind. but by that logic everything we see in our waking state is also only a series of images. in fact, if we think about it, everything we think about in our waking and dream states are composed of nothing but thoughts. our dreams are also, therefore, a series of thoughts. (for more about thoughts read 'bundle of thoughts')



and we think our thoughts in a chosen language. and for some, this is not necessarily the language you speak in. some of us think in one language and then translate these thoughts into another language before we speak. and therefore, the language we speak most comfortably in is the language we think in. even if you are a multi-lingual person, you would still be thinking in one default language.

and the most amazing thing is that we even see objects in a particular language! because whenever we see anything we always label it and then use these labels to relate, recognise, understand and experience the objects and events revolving around those objects.



imagine watching a 'rose'. in your mind you see a 'rose', if your default language of thought is english. alternately your mind would see a 'gulab' or a 'roja-pu' or a 'rosa-pu' or any other such name depending on your own language of thought!

but then, these are all my own random thoughts (in english :-) ). how about you? what's your language of thought? what language do you dream in?

darkness spilled out?

this phrase caught my attention recently in a fairly depressing book i was reading (the piano teacher by elfriede jelinek).



we are all familiar with the phrase 'light spilled out' but not 'darkness spilled out'. this implies that light moves into areas where there is no light and drives away darkness, so to speak.

darkness can never drive away light. darkness cannot survive where there is light.

the same is also applicable to knowledge.
- knowledge drives away ignorance.
- ignorance cannot survive with knowledge.
- knowledge spreads ... not ignorance. (though rumors tend to spread like wild-fire :-) i believe rumors are a version of the truth!)
- we are never comfortable with ignorance (though we do say ignorance is bliss!)... knowledge never feels like a burden.



and now when you apply this to happiness,
- whenever the cause of sorrow is removed we become happy... it shines forth from within us.
- sorrow departs from within us and what remains is happiness.
- sorrow can be spread but you don't find any eager buyers for it. happiness can be spread and nobody turns it away.
- and happiness is never a burden... unlike sorrow.



according to vedanta, knowledge and happiness are aspects of our true nature. and anything which is our true nature will always come naturally to us. we will never shun it... it is never a burden.

a day in mumbai with less than 100 rupees

i don't know about you, but there have been many occasions when i have found myself in situations with less than 100 rupees (a little less than 3 dollars given the rate at which the rupee is strengthening) in my wallet!

in the reckless days of my youth this could be attributed to my pecuniary condition. but in the recent past it was only because of the fact that i was caught unawares (my wife would be more precise and call it 'carelessness').

but i am sure it is possible to survive a day in any city, like in mumbai, with only small change in your pocket. it is quite a novel experience actually and i would strongly recommend this adventure to most of you who haven't tried anything like this in the recent past.

here's what you could do with to 100 rupees and still survive in mumbai -

1. have bun-maska and chai (bread, butter and tea) for breakfast at any irani restaurant - Rs. 10

2. bus ride to office - Rs. 5



3. thali at local udipi restaurant - Rs. 35


4. cutting chai - Rs. 3

5. sandwich or bhel at roadside stall - Rs. 10



6. auto rickshaw ride to train station - Rs. 15

7. train ticket (second class) - Rs. 5

8. auto ride home - Rs. 20

i know, i know... it adds up to more than 100. i happened to have some loose change in my wallet!

but the point i am making is that many of us lead a protected life-style where we never manage to experience the other side of the city. and the majority of the people are on the other side. over time we get too far detached from the sweatier side of our daily lives. and we also protect our kids from this 'other side'.

i think it is a good idea to occasionally expose them to the other side so that they can appreciate whatever they take for granted in their lives. take them out by public transport (bus, train, auto, etc.), let them play in a public park, let them visit the local vegetable market, eat out in a small udupi restaurant, and all that.

apart from teaching them valuable lessons in life, it can be a fun-filled, memorable adventure for the entire family.

try it out!

music mania

the most natural form of expression of joy in man is said to be dance. but the most expressive language for communication of this joy and all other emotions is music.

the universal language for emotions is music. and there is no person on this earth who can say that music does not touch her. if it doesn't then she is either dead or soulless.

wikipedia defines music as "Music is an art form consisting of sound and silence expressed through time." but one of the best definitions of music i have come across is here - basking in the light - IV.

have you noticed how we identify with specific songs/artists/lyrics/music? it reflects our moods and our growth. our favorites change over time. and sometimes we keep going back to the same songs even after ages.

and some songs catch the imagination of an entire nation/ age. they literally become anthems for the generation. whether it is 'hotel california' by the eagles or 'we don't need no education' by pink floyd or 'chak de india'.

i remember when i was in school and college, i used to get deeply moved by some songs which would reflect my state of mind at those times. especially when we are going through confusions or phases of infatuation or frustration. (they mostly used to go hand-in-hand :-) )

the beatles used to be one of my favorites in school. and i used to feel that they used to have a song for every mood that i went through. they even had one when i had a bad toothache - 'here i stand with head in hand, turn my face to the wall'. though i am sure that's not what they had in mind when they wrote the song :-) but that's the point. we see our thoughts and feelings getting reflected in certain songs and we identify with them. we feel as though the song was written specifically for us at that point of time.

but i also cannot understand how some people who like music get so focused on a particular genre that they are just not able to appreciate any other. and many of these are people who have a far subtler sense of music appreciation than people like me. even among indian classical music enthusiasts, i am sure you have met purists of hindustani or carnatic who just cannot stand the other form.

i think such a person's heart is just not large enough!

office picnic to matheran

this must have been the first time ever that we went on a trip over consequtive weekends. last weekend we went to jaipur with friends (trip to jaipur). and this weekend we went on our annual office picnic to matheran.

many of you who have been to matheran know it is a popular (and therefore overcrowded) weekend getaway from mumbai and pune. and chances are that 7 out 10 people you meet in matheran are gujjus! (thanks to the gujjus!)

but our team of more than 50 people from office had one of the most memorable annual trips in the recent past. and the reason for this was the adventure activities and games that we had organised for the first time.

i personally did rappelling, valley crossing and jhummering (rope climbing) for the first time. and so did my wife and prasann (my son).

here's a link to the few pics that i managed of this trip.

so, all in all, a very enjoyable and fun weekend was had by all.

trip to jaipur

we went on a weekend trip with friends (the majumdars and the punaters) to jaipur, the pink city. the color might have been pink when the maharaja had originally ordered everyone to paint the city pink (i am sure he must have meant red) to welcome the prince of wales in 1853. but now most of the buildings along the main market avenues look more orange and various shades of red, than pink!

what struck me more than the color pink was the sheer variety of modes of transport : elephants, horse carts, bullock carts, camel carts, bicycles, mopeds, motorcycles, cycle-rickshaws, auto-rickshaws (2 versions), cars, buses, trains, planes, etc.

we did the usual tourist haunts including - chokhi dhani, hawa mahal, city palace, and amber fort. and we indulged in gastronomical sins of the highest order by pigging out at chokhi dhani, rawat mishthan bhandar, lakshmi misthan bhandar, etc.

the city does give you a sense of the royalty and grandeur that was prevalent in the past. you also notice that, for its age, the city was a very well-planned city as compared to most of the other cities in the north.

nett-nett, we had a fun-filled, relaxing and yet tiring weekend (if you know what i mean) in jaipur. (but i wouldn't want to do it again anytime during the summer months).

here's some pics of our trip to jaipur.

trains, trains and more trains

i've still to come across a kid who's not fascinated with trains. and this is a fascination which doesn't go away even with age. (i remember going berserk when buying a railway set complete with engines and tracks and bridges and the works. i was ostensibly buying this for my 6 year old son!)

there are many people who are passionate about trains and collect all possible information, trivia, photographs, etc that they can lay their hands on.

i think trains have an almost magical quality of making us dream and think of adventure and the unknown. it is also very romantic for many of us with visions of trains chugging into the setting sun! (i think i got a bit carried away there :-) )

i've spent most of my childhood near railway stations and trains tracks, thanks to the fact that my father was a railway employee. and because of this i can boast of having travelled and also driven in all kinds of trains and engines and trolleys.

i've even operated a turn-table which was used to turn steam engines around to point in the opposite direction. i've shovelled coal into the belly of a steam engine. i've pushed a trolley while balancing and running on the track and hopping onto the moving trolley while it is in motion just like the gang-men would do it. i've seen tokens being passed to the assistant fireman by the signal-man using a token-ring at small stations. (here's an image of the tokens and the passing with the ring.)

i consider myself very fortunate that i have been exposed to things which many children today can only dream of. the only steam engines my son knows are 'thomas and friends' which he watches on the computer or on tv. (his grandfather once made his his day when he managed to get him to sit in an electric engine with the driver at panvel station while we were waiting for our train to arrive.)

but i am sure our kids will also be saying the same things when they have had kids and are similarly reminiscing about their childhood. i wonder what memories would they be cherishing?

for those of you who are interested in trains and related pictures, you can view this album - trains & more (http://picasaweb.google.com/ckguruprasad/TrainsAndMore)

another very good resource is - IRFCA - The Indian Railways Fan Club

and if any of you have similar fond memories you would like to share with the rest of us, please send in a mail or post your comment.

the fascinating body clock

i'm sure all of you, like i, have had this experience in school. we normally would have to be dragged/threatened/thrashed out of bed, but on the day we are going out on a school picnic we are out of our beds in a flash at some unearthly hour; even if we managed to sleep only a couple of hours earlier!


in fact most of the time, if you've noticed, when we want to wake up for something really important or for something really exciting or something we are looking forward to, we manage to wake up just before the alarm goes off. and this is in stark contrast to the umpteen number of times when we sleep through the blaring which has managed to wake up the rest of the household and some neighbors too!


all of us have experienced this fascinating body clock within us at some point of time or the other. its only recently when i started travelling abroad that i realised that our bodies don't strictly follow the time according to the watches on our wrist but has its own internal clock which is ticking away (like a time bomb?). earlier, i could never appreciate 'jet lag' which is just our body clock trying to sync itself with the watch on your wrist.


i recently learnt that there is a technical term for this internal body clock - circadian rhythm.


this only further reinforces the ancient vedantic pronouncement that time exists only in the mind; and the true measure of time is the gap between thoughts. swami chinmayananda used to say that time can be measured only after the 'second' thought and that is possibly why time is measured in seconds and not in 'firsts'!

(click here for an interesting perspective of time from a vedic standpoint - http://www.templenet.com/beliefs/concept_of_time.htm)

celebrations away from home

festivals are celebrated and rituals are followed with a lot more vigour by people when they are away from their homes/ land.

i noticed this first on campus when the entire student community in the hostel used to celebrate festivals like diwali and holi with a lot more enthusiasm and vigour than they normally would back home.

i recently read an article in the times of india about the onam celebrations in mumbai. the article had various malayalees reminiscing about how they celebrated onam in their villages back in kerala. these fond memories now inspire the malayalees all over the world (except, maybe in kerala itself) to relive the rituals and traditions of this festival.i would daresay that you could enjoy a more traditional onam celebration and meal in mumbai or dubai than in thiruvananthapuram itself!

i would assume this is the case with most other communities too.

i am sure all of us have our quota of cousins, relatives and friends in the us/ london/ australia, etc. who strive to keep their culture alive by attending bharatnatyam, carnatic music, kathak, tabla classes with a lot more vigour than they would if they were in their own home-land. i have noticed that this group also is very particular about performing various traditional rituals including pujas, punyajanam, festivals, etc. which they would not be following if they were back home.

i believe this zeal is born more from the need for the comfort from the sense of identity that they can hold on to than from the concern to keep their 'culture' alive.

and i think this is more true for the first-generation expatriate who has had some prior experience and exposure to some of these traditions before they departed to foreign shores.

distance not only seems to make the heart grow fonder, but also more zealous about our roots!

losing and finding things!

i am sure this doesn't happen with any one of you, at least not in such a chronic fashion.

i just can't seem to find things when i need them. and this problem seems to run in the family. this includes my wife and the kids. no, i don't mean i can't find them. they too seem to be afflicted with this strange ailment. my wife and i are still not decided which side of the family this problem seems to have originated from!

we lose things on a daily basis. to the extent that i am convinced that there is a group of people in our neighborhood (hopefully women) who seem to be interested in filching my underwear! apart from my towels, pens, papers, cds, etc. (i have many single socks - either the left or the right one!)

i have this knack of losing things i was carrying a minute ago. try beat that!

and then occasionally i get worked up enough to organise things better so that i can trace things better. this usually means that our bedroom looks like a typhoon hit it. and then things are very well-organised for a few days. but that still doesn't help. i still can't find my stuff because i don't seem to remember the logic behind the organisation. so then i decided to try keep things in safe places. i gave that up when i realised that the places i kept things away were so safe i couldn't remember where they were.

and now my kids seem to be carrying on this great family tradition and doing a damn good job of it. my daughter hides her brother's things (and sometimes our stuff too) just to bug him and then promptly forgets where she hid them! and she's cool as cucumber while we are going round the bend and turning the house upside-down trying to guess where she would have hidden the specific object we desperately need at that moment.

but we do find many of the things we lose. we found our car registration papers recently. just as soon as we had organised the duplicates!!!

the 'second' solution

this post is about the eternal debate that married people have about the pros and cons of having (or not having) a second kid. which basically means that you are forewarned not to attempt reading this during meal-times and definitely not if you are a queasy types when it comes to descriptions of bodily excretions of children!

let me share my personal experience. i remember when we had prasann, we never had any idea about a second kid. for us having prasann was a great fulfilment in itself. and we were both, as most single kid parents of the 21st century are wont to, kept on our toes trying to be ideal parents to our only child.

this meant a lot visits to the paediatrician, discussing diets, planning quality inputs, worrying about social interaction, the best play schools, et al. apart from his regular paediatrician visits, we used to regularly call a very senior paediatrician, dr. madhuriben sheth, (who is also a very dear family friend).

in fact whenever prasann was under the weather or passed stools which were not of the regular color or consistency we would promptly call madhuriben and ask her for her advise. most of the time her advise would mean just relaxing and waiting until the suspected affliction passed. and without fail she would also tell us that the solution to all the problems was to have a second child.

in fact we had thought that when we had a kid we would have effectively got rid of friends/family/acquaintance/strangers enquiring when we were planning a 'family'! we found out that having a child did not stop people asking us if and when we were planning an addition to the family!

eventually, we did have our second child - sunanda. and we realised soon enough, how true and sage madhuriben's advise was. and when we looked around we saw the stark difference between single-kid parents and the others with more than one kid. here's my laundry-list of the differences i could see (i'm sure you would agree/disagree depending on which side of the fence you are on) :

1. parents of multiple-kids seem to be more 'cool' about their kids.

2. they seem to be far more accepting of their kids' achievements or lack of them.

3. they seem to be far less aggressive about their kids vis-a-vis other parents, teachers, grand-parents, etc.

4. they seem to be of the view that the kids would largely take care of themselves and do not need to be guided and managed all the time.

5. they manage their careers/ hobbies/ other activities with far less guilt about leaving their kids at day-care centres or creches.

6. and they finally realise that their love for the kids doesn't get divided by the number of kids they have; instead it multiplies adequately to ensure that each kid feels loved and secure.

i do realise that this does seem to be a very biased view presented here. but this is how i honestly feel and what i have actually experienced. (and we haven't called madhuriben for a very long time!)

but i would love to hear views from the 'other' side too!

photos don't lie!

we went on a weekend getaway trip to kashid on 18th & 19th aug. we were 5 families from golden square (click on the link to see the location on google maps) and we drove down in 3 cars. i.e. 10 adults and 9 kids.

all of us, as you can imagine, had a very good time. the kids largely took care of themselves. and all the adults, when they were not eating copious amounts of delicious food or lazing around as an obvious after-effect, got into the pool with the kids or played various games including cards, taboo, pictionary, etc.

you can catch the pics at the following link (some of the pics are scenic) - http://picasaweb.google.com/ckguruprasad/TripToKashid

(photos courtesy : murli nambiar)

but that's not the point of this posting. i am sure most of you would not be interested in poring through these pics. to be honest, i wouldn't if i were you!

have you noticed how we are eager to browse through an album or to look at photographs only if one of the following conditions are true?
1. there is our photograph(s) in that collection
2. there is a photograph(s) of our immediate family or people we love
3. there are photographs of people we know or are fond of
4. the photographs are of some well-known personality or have been clicked by a well-known personality
5. we have heard that the photographs are interesting/beautiful/artistic/whatever
(and our interest dramatically reduces in this order of listing!)

our interest in the photographs reflects our love for the subject in the photographs! and we are most interested in our own photographs/reflections; because we love ourselves the most!

like i said, photos don't lie!

i used to be a rolling stone!

no i don't mean i was part of the band... nor do i mean i was a fan. (i discovered the rolling stones only late in college.) as for the actual meaning of the phrase, well that came even later. (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rolling%20stone)

when i was carefree, footloose, reckless and single, but not necessarily happier than i am today, i realised that i was a perfect specimen for the term 'a rolling stone'. and i took some kind of pride about this 'state of being'.

i could drift in and out and away from relationships with ease, i never got too close to people, i didn't need friends, but i could make new friends at every new place we moved to, etc.

and then i got married! and soon kids followed.

to say that life changed drastically would be an understatement :-)

i can unabashedly say today that i have never felt as attached to anybody in my whole life as i feel to my kids! you would assume that i should have felt tied down or claustrophobic or like having my wings clipped. on the contrary! i have never felt as complete, as free and as content in my life before.

i say to all of you people out there who are on the fence about marriage or about having kids after marriage - take a deep breath and jump aboard. you will never regret it!

some might say that you will not have any time to realise the blunder since you will be so busy running errands, making up more than making out, changing nappies, reading bed-time stories and all that.

but once you are in it you realise that these are all pegs which are driving you deeper into solid ground and at the same time, helping you soar into the sky, freer than the king of the eagles!

thank god for children! and thank god for the mothers who beget the children who in turn make you a truly complete man!

chak de, india

just saw the movie 'chak de, india' (www.chakdeindia.org) over the weekend with the kids and some friends.

its a well-made movie. i predict it will do well and will be declared a 'hit'. which is amazing considering that, apart from srk (shahrukh khan - www.shahrukh.com) there is not a single known face, no songs or dances, no death-defying stunts, no fights with dastardly villains, etc. what makes it special is that the film presents the reality about our attitude towards sports, the bias towards cricket, our regional biases, etc.

its a movie with shades of 'lagaan' and has some good moments. its a good mix of patriotism, the victory of david over goliath, woman power, team-spirit, us vs them and all that!

at the end of the movie my son promptly declared that we should buy him a hockey stick! i think the movie will definitely help the cause of hockey in the country, at least for some more time.

all in all a good 'paisa vasool' film! highly recommended.

the power of 'cheee'

a lot has been said and written about how we use language, especially the written word, in a very limited fashion to express ourselves and our ideas. very often we find ourselves in situations where we are struggling to find the right word to aptly express what we are trying to say! and its during such 'frozen' moments that we fall back on some of our favourite words.

some of these words are unmentionable and unreproducible here in this blog since i believe this blog has a 'family' readership. but you will agree that these 'filler words' (you might even call them 'killer words') have an almost magical quality of morphing themselves into a myriad set of meanings; usually way beyond what the original utterer of the word ever intended for it.

lets take the very indian expression 'chee' which roughly translates into 'how disgusting!'. but this same word if pronounced as 'cheee' also translates into 'go on! i don't believe you/he/she/it/someone can be so disgusting!'.

here's a short list of the various possible connotations of the same 'sound expulsion' :
1. 'che' when said in a short irritated fashion expresses just that - extreme irritation.
2. 'chi' when expressed with a lot of sideways-head-shaking would typically denote self-loathing for having missed that god-given opportunity of making an easy buck or something along those lines.
3. 'shee' said with a lot of fluttering of the eyes would basically mean the universal statement 'i like it but i am obviously not going to let you know that, am i'?
4. 'chi chi chi' muttered multiple times under your breath with a lot of vigorous head-shaking would clearly mean you have just done something very sacrilegious.
5. 'oh shee' is what kids say when they want to be polite and not utter unmentionable words within earshot of the elders.
6. an exaggerated 'cheee' with a lot of eyebrow raising and nose-wrinkling might just be a group of friends just harmlessly pulling someone's leg in the group.
7. and then there are some who would not deign to utter such crude sounds but would rather utter a polished 'sheesh' making you wonder how they happened to be born on the wrong side of the english channel (and i don't mean the bbc here).

i could go on and on... but i think you get the general idea (and i don't want you going 'sheesh' over me!).

the problem with such words and expressions is that over time they become convenient crutches to lean on to when we don't get the right word in our daily conversations. and then over time we slowly start losing the agility of speech and start uttering a language which sounds vaguely like english but is wide off the mark!

do you know any other similar expressions that we use often? (but please remember this is a 'family' viewing/reading blog!) :-)

a question of answers

i realised there were a few unanswered questions in some of my earlier postings. in this posting i try to answer them to the best of my ability!

in the posting about 'the ultimate why' i had posed a few questions - what is the ultimate answer for all our whys? is there one single answer that answers all our whys?

ok, here's my take on this.

i believe that all our 'whys' lead to one final answer.

why do we do everything that we do?

we do everything that we do because we want to be happy, to achieve fulfilment and to feel complete.

even if we believe we are doing some actions like charity or some sacrifice for somebody else's benefit, if we look within ourselves closely enough, we have to admit that we are doing it because we derive some sense of fulfilment or satisfaction in these actions.

in fact, i would go to the extent of saying that there is not a single activity, word or thought that we undertake other than for fulfilling our own desires and for our own happiness.

do you agree?

-------------------------------------------------

and i was also told that there was a missing link in my posting about the 'evidence of reincarnation'.

in this posting i wanted to present the case of my kids as evidence of reincarnation. but i think the idea didn't come through clearly.the point i was trying to make was that 2 kids in the same family can be so different. now, the only logical reason to explain this huge difference is the personality package that they seem to have 'inherited' or brought along with them.

some of you might argue and say that the differences can be explained as genetic. but then my counter would be - what defined their unique genetic structure which in turn defined their unique personalities with its specific traits? are these traits truly 'carried forward' from some previous life or are these only just some accidental combinations of certain proteins in their dna strands?

i don't know about you, but i can't accept the theory that i am what i am because of some random 'accident'!

what do you think?

-----------------------------------------------

evidence of reincarnation

here's the ultimate evidence to prove the theory of reincarnation beyond any doubt - my own kids!

my son, prasann, is going to turn 7 in october. after my daughter, sunanda, who completed 3 in may, was born, we suddenly realised how much of an angel our son is :-)

(click one of the following links to see their pic - http://picasaweb.google.com/ckguruprasad/TripToMahabaleshwar/photo#5063979959940848338
http://picasaweb.google.com/ckguruprasad/Picsmar2006/photo#5008812688469998018)

prasann and sunanda are as similar as chalk and cheese.

1. prasann might protest vehemently, but will not do anything that he is not supposed to unless he has got permission from his mother. (he knows who's the boss at home!)

but sunanda will stare her mother in the eye and continue to do what she pleases.

2. prasann is not a very social person. he would rather sit and watch a movie, or play a computer game, or go through some car magazines than go out and play with the other kids.

sunanda prefers to stay out or go to her friend's house than come home on her way back from her 'day care centre'.

3. prasann can't stand the sight of fruits. he just about manages to eat some mangoes (the alphonso variety). he eats without a fuss but is quite choosy about his food and rarely experiments.

sunanda likes fruits and is quite game to try out some new variety of fruit even if it doesn't look very appealing. she would take a bite of whatever it is that we are eating, diplomatically say it is good, and then politely decline another serving.

4. prasann is currently into his 'cars' phase. this was preceded by planes, trains, auto-rickshaws, and cooking utensils.

sunanda never went through any of these phases. she prefers books, puzzles, animals.

5. prasann is deeply influenced by religious practices and he instinctively prostrates to swamis & brahmacharis (monks).

sunanda does not quite the like the idea of doing this at all, nor does she feel any pressure to ape her brother.

6. and the clinching evidence is displayed in full glory at the dining table. after prasann finishes his meal, which usually ends with a generous serving of curd-rice (here's the recipe - http://www.geocities.com/NapaValley/3925/recipe_rice_15.html), you would not be blamed if you assumed that a mini-typhoon hit his plate which also smacked his face while retreating! the effects can be seen over a significant radius beyond his plate.
and sunanda, the way she expertly handles the cutlery, can be easily mistaken for someone the 'brits' left behind when they departed indian shores. she is neat, meticulous and a dainty eater.

all of us have our own views about reincarnation. but most parents with more than one child will agree that our children make us pause and wonder about this theory, if convince us about it!

reality shows you will soon see!

this posting was inspired by two things.

first, i read this article about some british tv company (i thought this was one of those examples of brit humor) doing a reality show where they would get someone with a disfigured face and then get some corrective & plastic surgery done to reconstruct the face. and all this would be on prime time!

and second, within the next day or two, i read an article by anil thakraney who writes in mumbai mirror. (this is the second time i am referring to the mirror in my blog! tells you a lot about the junk i read! :-) ) here he mentioned that we would see weirder reality shows in the near future.

i made a list of shows that would be thrust upon us. and each would have their own following of enthusiasts!

1. a full season of the next big celebrity wedding. right from the courting to the engagement and the run-up to the d-day including the shopping and all that. and not to forget the pre-nuptials!

2. a 24-episode version of how your wet garbage gets converted to manure. and this would be telecast to coincide with your dinner time. bon appetit!

3. a 3-5 year show with a daily one-hour episode on the progress of the mumbai metro phase I. for the first few months the camera would just follow the file as it moves through the various ministries at mantralaya. (a competing channel could cover the progress of the worli-bandra sea-link construction.)

4. a year with the indian cricket team! the camera would follow the cricket team as they go through the motions of training, playing (on field and off), etc. each month one player would be the 'chosen one'. this would be a daily episode for an hour each day. i am sure there would be more action seen on this show than in the matches played by these players!

5. and then there would be live feeds from 2 cameras from the compartments of our mumbai local trains. one would be in the ladies compartment while the other would be in the gents compartment. obviously the ad tariff would be higher on those days when the transmission is from the ladies compartment. this would be one of the most popular reality shows with transmissions to many tv stations around the world!
on this show you would see action, drama, suspense, tragedy, romance, thrills, etc. which would beat any of the mainstream potboilers hollow.

6. and of course, sooner or later, we will have a show just like 'the truman show' where someone is filmed right from their birth and would live life without realising that he (or she) is on tv 24X7!

do you agree that it wouldn't be the least bit surprising if these kind of shows get announced sooner than later?

do you have any wackier suggestions you want to list here? who knows, some of the readers here might actually end up using your idea and make a show... or maybe star in one! ;-)

the ultimate 'why?'

here's a mind exercise.

let's ask ourselves the question 'why?' for anything that we do... and when i say anything i mean anything.


why do i go to work?

why am i saving money?

why do i study/ go to college?

why do i aspire for greater things?

why do i listen to music/read books/cook?

... and so on and so forth....

and let us ask the same question to every response we come up with. where do you think this would lead us to?

would you arrive at some ultimate answer? what would be your ultimate answer? do you think each one of us would have a unique answer? or would we all have the same final answer?

watch this space for the answer :-)

(send in your responses and then lets see what we get.)

schools - the great levelers

we mumbaikars woke up one morning to see the front page of the mumbai mirror screaming "Pissed off dad buys school for his kids" (you can read the full article here - http://www.mumbaimirror.com/net/mmpaper.aspx?page=article§id=15&contentid=200705250227128596aece596)

now, the mumbai mirror is not the kind of fare you would like to start your day with. but a headline like this demanded attention. especially for most people who are trying to get their young kids admitted in decent educational institutions.

most mumbaikars will agree that in mumbai it is easier to get invited to abhishek and aishwarya's wedding (http://www.rediff.com/movies/ashabhiwed.html) than to get your child admitted into a school of your choice! and for most people, no matter how important the whole world thinks you are, the entire admission process is a very humbling experience.

you learn early on in the process that you have to be ingratiatingly polite and smile at everyone in the school right from the 'chowkidar' (guard) at the gate to the all-important admissions coordinator who decides whether your admission form makes it to the short short-list or to the huge pile of rejects. that's assuming you have managed to get the admission form in the first place!

and if you are one among the majority with a reject letter in your hand (that's assuming the school has deigned to send you one) you dare not ask for reasons. you might believe that your child is god's gift to humanity but the school reserves the right to 'pooh pooh' your belief. in fact in most schools you would not even be able to get an audience with anybody in the school who matters. and even if you manage to meet someone, you can expect the person to feel mighty offended that you choose to question their evaluation process.

in fact the ego-crushing experience that the parents go through at most 'sought after' schools is so common that if any of the schools deviate from this attitude you begin to wonder if there is something wrong with the school.

after going through such an experience the reaction of people tends to differ widely -
1. some decide to buy the schools just to 'show them' and get back!
2. some are so relieved when they get the admission that they just want to forget the whole experience and move on in life. (some even undertake pilgrimages to the religious sites that they had promised to visit if they get the coveted admissions.)
3. some sagely analyse the situation to be a 'demand supply mismatch' problem and that this is something that one has to go through.
4. and then there are those few who truly believe that, in the long run, it doesn't really matter which school your child goes to.

and this is so very true. if we look at ourselves and people around us we see that most people shine brilliantly in life, irrespective of how good or bad their schools were. we personally know of so many great achievers who are from vernacular schools or municipal schools where we would never even think of admitting our children into. (i'd like to mention here that i am not, even for a moment, suggesting that it is not important to plan your child's education!)

i think it finally boils down to our own false notions, confusions and insecurities that reflect in the way we tackle this activity. we create these situations for ourselves by firmly believing that our children will get the best education only if they get admitted into a specific school. but education is not only about the 'pedigree' of the institution. there are so many other aspects that go into making for complete education.

do you agree?

"Don't just invest 'on' the child, also invest 'in' the child!" - Sw. Chinmayananda.

mom, i want to be a hair-dresser!

imagine if you were an indian kid from a middle-class family and had said something like this to your parents in the 70s or the 80s. they would have hit the roof and promptly got you checked by a doctor.

the only career options that were considered 'respectable' were engineering, medicine, software/ hardware (recent entrants into the list), law, civil services, bureaucracy/ government jobs, architecture, etc.

but in the last decade there's been a sea change in the jobs market and new job seekers have hundreds of options to choose from. many of these options would have been considered bizarre or looked down upon in the past.

so now when i look around me i suddenly find so many career options which suddenly seem to be not just acceptable, but also desirable by most of the youngsters today.

here's a list of some such jobs that i could come up with :

1. rj (radio jockey)/ vj (video jockey)/ dj (disc jockey) - some of these people are celebrities in their own right
2. physical instructor - this species has suddenly become a rare commodity and a status symbol for any celebrity worth his/her salt!
3. dietician - i could never decide what would cost more - the fees quoted by these dieticians or the esoteric foods they recommend.
4. hair dresser - is it the hair dresser who starts a new fashion trend (after a few accidents and experiments) or is he/she following the trend?
5. fashion designer - their clothes are like abstract art. each creation is apparently trying to communicate something but it sounds like all greek and latin to my ears!
6. yoga instructor - the new-age instructors don't teach good old yoga, its 'power yoga' or 'pranic yoga' or 'swaroopa yoga', etc.
7. vaastu/ feng shui consultant - unlike god who opens a window when he shuts a door, this consultant will close a door (no matter which direction the door in your house faces) and ask you to open another one elsewhere!
8. masseur - the star of this tribe is most definitely on the ascendant. you suddenly have spas, therapy centres, wellness clinics and other variants springing up in almost every street corner.
9. animator - all those hours spent in doodling in school or vandalising the desks with your creative outpourings while waiting for lectures to end are suddenly being highly valued!
10. accent/ voice trainer - earlier you would have been considered 'stuck up' if you spoke with an accent; now it could land you a well paying job!
11. event manager - in school you organised a picnic, in college you planned the annual social, and now at work you are organising everything from award ceremonies to office parties or product launches.
12. dance instructor - who would have ever imagined that you could make a successful career teaching people the salsa and the samba?
13. speciality chef - the food they cook never seems to affect their weight; and some of them get paid a lot more than you and i
14. online game master - they get paid for playing online games on the job!

but i think moms will take some more time before their eyes become moist and they jump up with joy when they hear you announce 'mom! i finally know what i want to be, a hair-dresser!'

i am sure there are more esoteric options i have not listed here. you know any you would like to share?

cooling our collective heels!

i was away with family on vacation for about 10 days. we covered wyanad, coorg and hassan. we had 2 other friends (with their families) with us on this trip. (for a photo album click here http://picasaweb.google.com/ckguruprasad/TripToWyanadCoorgHassan)

here are a few thoughts/ tips/ ideas i wanted to share with you.

1. when you are planning a vacation with kids, its a good idea to team up with friends who also have kids in the same age-group. makes for a much better quality time and far less trauma than if you were to do it yourself.

2. coorg is a beautiful place with largely virgin, unspoiled landscapes. there aren't too many resorts or hotels unlike in most other 'tourist destinations'. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kodagu)
we opted for a 'home stay' with a wonderful couple - geoffery and kalpana muthanna. (http://www.indianbeat.net/index.php?option=content&pcontent=1&task=view&id=62&Itemid=113)
this meant we lived in their beautiful, spacious house in the midst of a 40 acre coffee estate adjacent to the cauvery river. we could go bathing/ swimming in the river. we did not choose the option of 'mahseer angling' or 'rafting'. we were introduced to many plants and trees including the sandalwood, rose wood, coffee, pepper, vanilla, the fiery 'gandhari' chillies, and so many more!

we also went to the 'dubare elephant reserve' which is a training camp for elephants run by the forest department. here you can bathe the elephants, watch them being fed and also go on an elephant ride.

the 'tala kaveri' or the birth place of the kaveri river was being renovated. this is a very important pilgrimage destination for the local coorgis and even tamilians. (http://images.narian.org.uk/image78.html)

3. our next destination was hassan in karnataka. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hassan,_India)

the chenna keshava temple in belur (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chennakesava_Temple) is a 'must visit' place. the temple is an architectural marvel and the sculptures adorning the temple are exquisite.

4. on our way back to bangalore on our last leg we stopped to visit the gomateshwara bahubali statue atop the vidhyanagari hill at shravanabelagola. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shravanabelagola)

we had to climb more than 600 steps cut into the stone hill to reach the temple at the top. standing at the foot of the 58 feet tall statue is a humbling experience.

all in all, a wonderful time!

and now, back to the grind and the grime of mumbai :-)

bundle of thoughts!

what if you were told you were nothing but a bundle of thoughts?

and thoughts are nothing more than just energy in a modified form. all the food we eat transforms into energy (and also blood and bone and tissue, of course). so food is the source of our thoughts.

and why then are our thoughts so different from the thoughts of all the others we know? we'll discuss this in another posting some other day.

now, coming back to our discussion about us being thoughts.

now let's follow this chain of thought :-)

everything i know about myself is nothing but a vast reservoir of thoughts. every idea, notion, belief and bias i entertain is nothing but a thought stored away in that massive memory bank of ours. in fact, that's it. our sense of identity is nothing but a cumulative effect of all our past memories that we access in a very complex way at every waking moment.

imagine you woke up one day and lost all your memory, just like they show in the movies. you would have no clue of who you were, who your family/friends/relatives were, what job you did, what likes/dislikes you had, your hobbies, your favorite movie/book/song .... nothing.

and suddenly you realise that everything you are, everything you believe yourself to be, every characteristic, every habit, every aspect of your ego is nothing but thoughts in your memory bank.

you, the person you believe you are, are nothing but a bundle of thoughts!

think about it! and i'd like to hear your thoughts in this regard.

single in mumbai

i wish i was a single woman in mumbai.

no, i am not going through a mid-life crisis. nor am i suddenly wondering which side i should be on!

i am just plain envious!

i believe this is the best time to be :
1. a lady (the men don't have half as many advantages)
2. in her mid-20s to mid-30s (not more not less)
3. single (that's the entire point; singledom = freedom)
4. working (you have enough spending power to last you through the first 15-20 days of the month)
5. living alone (please refer notes of point 3)
6. in mumbai (no other city gives her half as much freedom; maybe bangalore comes a close second)

if you are someone who satisfies all the above criteria, then the world is at your feet.

- you have at least half a dozen eligible men (it could even include some married men) wooing you
- you get invited to most of the happening parties and events in town
- you don't need to spend a penny (read rupee) at these dos
- you can stay out as late as you like, you can choose to stay over at a friend's (and nobody is likely to ask you which 'friend' it was)
- you don't have parents/elders/relatives asking you to behave/ get married/ dress decently/ etc.
- you can live at the cutting edge of fashion without having to worry about 'what will people say?' (so people stare; let them!)
- you don't have to attend family functions unless the food is worth the effort (you can always say you had a late day at office)
- you can have parties at your pad, again without worrying about hiding the empty bottles and 'airing' the room (the neighbours hardly know of your existence)
- you can eat out if you feel too lazy to cook

i am sure the list can get longer and have many more interesting entries. you have something to add?